Late Night At CampAfter Landsmeet
by ipegasus
Summary: This short story finds characters from DA:O along with Ser Gilmore in camp after the great Landsmeet.  Just some friendly dialog between friends getting ready to face some of the greatest challenges of their lifetime.


_Welcome friends to my world of what I see Ser Gilmore's and Lady Tara Cousland's lives to be like in Fereldon. I'm getting old. Just reality for me and I have been known to misspell a word- well, I spelled it right it just isn't the right word or spelling of the word that fits the sentence and spell check isn't going to catch it._ _ I seem to have issues with proper nouns. Especially family members. I do not just randomly capitalize words for entertainment. Rather it seemed like it was an important person, place or thing, like Mother and Father which, I looked up and yes, they are not normally capitalized in a sentence. I'll fix it when I remember to do so. If you find some grievous mistake, please email me exactly where it is and I will correct it as soon as I can. Understand I don't write a few lines and post. This short excursion turned up at over 40 pages and I went over it at least ten times looking for errors. Editing my own work to perfection just doesn't seem possible for me. Editing computer screens is very difficult because of my vision problems that can't all seem to be corrected. So please follow instructions above or print it out and make you own corrections. It isn't arrogance on my part. I really just can't bear to keep re-reading the same story over and over again. I have a terrible habit of actually adding more dialog rather than extracting it so better just to help me correct it or enjoy the story, bumps and all. I still find errors in the books I read and many of the articles I read on the Internet. Errors happen. Please don't take them seriously or offensively. I don't mind reviews but people who know me as a writer know, I do other things and can be terrible about updating. So this is a one shot. I have other stories involving Ser Gilmore and Lady Cousland but so far I have been skipping around their lives. Mostly because I do have a bad habit of not being able to add more to a story later on. Life just happens, you know. I hope you enjoy my humor. It isn't for everyone. Very rarely do I ever change the directions of my stories. It has to be my story, since I have to own it. I love reading other people's stories but rarely do I do this when I am writing for fear I might pick up some of your storyline unintentionally or maybe just because your explanation just makes sense for the character. My ideas though are my own. I do not re-write other people's stories but I do like to embellish characters by going to places other authors may not have had the time to go or it just didn't interest them to write about them at the time. I'm not competing here. Writers come from different levels of story telling and backgrounds so I enjoy most stories, as long as it doesn't seem someone is taking the story line of someone else and just inserting their own characters into it. That would be re-telling the same old story and not very creative. Runs too close to plagiarism as well. If you find we might be following the same paths, that happens sometimes, because we are writing about the same character, that is a coincidence. Unless I specifically state I am using a characteristic from someone else or following a path someone else has written something about and I wanted to go further with the idea, my ideas are my own. From either my own experiences or observations about the behavior of others. Believe me when I say, I am creative enough to come up with my own situations and dialogs I don't need to borrow yours. Please, since I do get very creative with my writing, don't blame anyone else for whatever crazy direction I take my characters into. They may not have gone in this direction with their own writing. It's all my fault and I don't mind taking the responsibility for my own peculiar imagination. I just like asking the question, "What if this happened? What do I think they would do in this situation and the story follows from there." I try to avoid the obvious except for it being obviously how this character or that character might have responded or reacted to the situation I put them into. I do struggle a lot with Alistair. What can I say? His, humor is his own but harder for me to write than some of the other characters so his may be the one character you may question the most as far as dialog runs but ah, well, I hate to ignore him and I try to get his character right the best that I can. I love romantic couples and don't mind writing about their more romantic moments. I have about three or four more pages to this story I might add later if most of the readers really want me to go there. It's up to you. Read this and decide if you can stand four more pages of love and seduction. If not, I can keep things tame. Usually I don't write pornographic material and we do have some restrictions here but I am not afraid either to put in enough innuendo to let you know what really goes on between couples when they are hiding away in their tents. It' s up to you. There is a part in here that seems kind of repetitive. I was trying to fix that but people do talk that way sometimes. Maybe I can edit it down some more later. I just wanted to put this up and see what others thought about it before I lost my nerve to post it at all. I do hope you enjoy it._

_Credit goes to David Gaider, for creating the character of Ser Gilmore for DA:O; Immortality for her amazing scripting of Ser Gilmore for DA:O and character play through additions. EA, Bioware for the Game DAO and DAA and all of the other writers who are involved in the character development of the game I am scripting from. I have not read any of the comic books or books related to this story. I have read some fanficition here just to make sure no one wrote the same story I came up with while playing the game. If I have missed anyone who should get credit email me here and I will do so._

The night sky was growing darker and a light mist was hovering just beyond the borderline of their temporary campstie. It was chilly but not as in the Wintertime for it was still Fall weather in these parts of the country. The hours effortless passed on, one after the other, with no importance to those who lived by them during the day. Those whose turn it was to stand watch as well as ones who just found sleeping impossible were gathered around the campfire bickering and debating whatever topic came to mind in the moment. Some of their members were sound asleep while others were still up and drinking merrily, conversing with one another to pass the evening's time. In their tent, Rory was still awake and trying to stay interested in the book he was quietly reading. Tara finally seemed to be sleeping soundly so he felt a little more at ease finally. At night, he preferred to hold onto her while he read if he had trouble sleeping. His arm however had fallen asleep underneath her so he skillfully, slipped it out from underneath her, then, painfully, tried to rub out that tingly feeling you get when you try to bring the blood back into circulation.

"Ow". He let out before he could catch himself. He peered back at his lover hoping he didn't disturb her and she still laid asleep. He really did want to go to sleep himself but nightmares from his hellish time after the Castle was invaded were plaguing him once again, so, he thought otherwise. He could still hear voices outside of their tent and listened carefully to hear one in particular. Yes, Alistair was awake. Maybe, since he was sure to be drinking, Roland might be able to pull some answers from him that Tara teasingly, always, seemed to distract him from. She knew him too well he smiled suddenly at the thought of it. Yet, some things were important to know. It was for her protection that he was curious about how the "joining" really affected those who survived it. How could he best help her if she felt compelled to keep secrets from him? He understood her oath and the importance of secrecy but he knew there was more to what was happening to her. Maybe she didn't know herself? Either way, if Alistair was drunk, it wasn't too hard to ply information that he might otherwise think twice about sharing when he was sober. At least, if he could find out more details he could better deal with the problems they are facing now with fewer doubts. Tara had not been feeling well this day and there were questions in his mind that were not easily settled. He knew he needed to know more about this being blighted so that he could better help her through these trying times.

So, he rummaged through his pack for a pair of trousers, a clean enough shirt, socks and pulled on a pair of his boots to face tonight's challenge head on.

Outside of the tents, Alistair, Zeveran and Oghren were holding their typical late night gathering of their version of humorous banter. Sometimes, they told stories of their adventures. Other times, they discussed tactics, places of interest, or procedures that will make their work more efficient. While others, especially after more than a few drinks, they just picked on one another because boredom never rested easy when you know at any moment, darkspawn might invade your camp or your ruling class might have assassins waiting for a good opportunity to strike. Apparently, just trying to save your Kingdom from destruction is not a good enough reason to stop practicing business as usual, even here in Fereldon.

"Ah, lookie here! Hey, Roland, what's the matter? Have you been sent to the kennel again?" Oghren bellowed out as Rory was trying to quietly make his way to the circle.

"My friend, you must really listen to my advice when I offer it. I assure you, you will find it quite useful in your intimate relationships." Zev couldn't help but play along with his friend.

"Is something wrong? I did notice Tara wasn't very talkative tonight." Alistair decided he would try not to rile Rory just yet.

"Why must something always be wrong if I dare to ever leave my tent at night?" Roland asked already wondering if he made a mistake in joining these guys after more than a few drinks have been had.

"Well, would you like that I give you the more obvious answers or should I try to make up some more creative replies? Wait, let me think…you just remembered that you forgot to check the dog's water and surely if he goes dry, he will chew up all of your personal belongings when you aren't paying attention? Or maybe, your lover has grown bored and decided that sleeping was her best option tonight?" He sat back, further squinting his eyes to carefully focus on Roland's body language as well as his words. He was curious to judge his opponents state of mind over his inquiries.

"Oh, nug snot! She takes care of the dog. That beast barely lets the man near her whenever they are both around her. You can do better than that. The other one? I'll wait to hear his excuse for that one!"

Rory just shakes his head in weariness. This was why he much preferred to read in their tent rather than provide them with intimate details about his relationship. None of these men seemed to have ever heard of propriety he figured out quite quickly when he first arrived with them at camp. Though Alistair had some manners the rest of them often left him speechless when it came his turn to reply. With more intimate, trusted, friends he felt a little more at ease discussing his life but with these men? He knew it was just pure boredom and grandiose that triggered their saucy inquiries. Still, he knew, if he didn't play the game some, he would find they had even less compassion for him on the battlefield. So he tried to find some pity in his heart to answer them back with some sort of made up reply in response.

"Tara hasn't been feeling well. I'm surprised, considering how concerned all of you are with her well-being, and our private life, you didn't notice?"

"I noticed she was quieter than normal but we have a lot on our minds right now. Do you think it is the nightmares that are making her feel ill? I know, those hideous images make it hard for me to eat much sometimes." Alistair confessed unable to hide the distress he obviously felt from even the memory of darkspawn and the carnage they leave in their wake.

"We have been literally walking through the mire of darkspawn carnage for weeks now, Alistair. One does not need to have visions to be affected by what they are doing to the people of Fereldon." Zev reminded his partner flatly.

"No, I suppose not."

"I don't know what is wrong with Tara and it has nothing to do with our relationship. I wish all of you would stop trying to find things that just are not there to talk about. I came out here tonight to join you because I was hoping that Alistair might be able to clear up some question about the Grey Warden's that have been plaguing me lately."

"So, why not just ask Tara? I mean since everything is going so well with the two of you?" Oghren asked sarcastically.

"Some things, Grey Warden's just keep to themselves, Roland. We are a guild that must keep to secrets in order to survive. This is just something you are going to have to learn to live with." Alistair stated feeling more prestigious in his progressive stupor.

"I do understand this but…I want to be supportive. I need to know what is going on so I can better help her through all of this. At least this you can understand, right?" He brought up not even trying to hide how painful it was to not know things about someone he truly loved.

"So, again, why are you asking me and not her?" He sat back trying to get more comfortable as he waited for Roland to make up some sort of lame excuse. "Just curious of course."

"I've tried. She'll either just smiles at me or distract me from my questions. When I have brought up joining myself, she pauses before telling me it is something that now, she often questions herself. There were, consequences that before, when she was first faced with joining the Grey Warden's were of little concern to her. She just wanted to join the battle and do the most good that she could for Highever, her people, and hopefully save lives. On a more personal level, now, she wonders if she really would have made the same choice given our currant circumstances."

"Nice. So what exactly does she do that distracts you so much from your very important questions? I must admit, I'm intrigued to find out what it is that side tracks a man who is so bent on discipline and following protocol." Zev decided this was a much more interesting game to play with Rory then meaningless GW ones. What is done is done, right?

"I'm suppose to answer this question of yours? Of course you are mocking me, some."

"I like the question, what about you Alistair? Maybe he needs a few more lessons on being a Templer?"

"Yes, because I am so good at keeping focused when a woman wants to distract me from something important." He answered dryly. "Women aren't Templers you know. They aren't allowed to be either."

"I am learning the techniques. As for avoiding women? Obviously that was a hopeless cause from the start. Alistair is much better at that than I apparently am, I assure you."

"Well, Rory, are you going to answer the man's question or not? Probably just making it up so he looks all manly. We know he much rather be reading about some crusty old battle from who cares when than under some woman's skirts."

"Okay, maybe he has already forgotten the incident. Let us not be so harsh on the poor boy. He isn't hardly as experienced with women as the two of us obviously are my friend. So let's see, what is it that I find that she does, probably unconsciously of course, since surely she is not really such a tease as she appears to be in public..."

"Are we talking about her coming or going here? Just to focus on exactly where you are heading with this, Zev."

"Oh why should we have to pick sides? Not that the side view isn't at least somewhat distracting to me as well."

"Are you having fun, yet? Tara is hardly the only female here at camp. What we do with each other is really just between us. I'd like to keep it that way and she would prefer it that way as well. We are getting off topic here."

"That may be because this topic is so much more fascinating than the one you wanted to talk so much about? You are not the only person here who has questions, you know? Besides, you brought up the subject. We are just curious, to increase our own knowledge about the female gender, to see if maybe she has come up with something diabolical on her own? As I mentioned, the poor girl is greatly challenged taking on you as her lover. I ..let's just say I applaud her efforts. I can only imagine how much she must have suffered before you finally realized how anxious she really was to be sleeping in your tent."

"I'm sure it is such a privilege." Oghren burped out loud in protest.

"It had to be some great fete. I just know it! I'm so sad. A woman should not have to work so hard to gain any man's affections. It was just so fortunate I came across such an appealing gown but as we can see, even that is not enough to keep him busy in his tent? Alas, I can only do so much for the poor girl. Just remember if she keeps bothering you, I am more than available to ease her pain and suffering. I could never ignore such a beautiful creature."

"If he is so disciplined than why is he so distracted from what it is he thinks she should be telling him?"

"Pretty weak to me but than it all depends on what she was willing to do to change the subject. Heh, heh, know what I mean."

"No, please explain, since I am so deprived of female company and experience." Alistair decided he should say something to keep up the conversation.

"Top to bottom, his or hers? Take your pick?" Oghren snidely remarked.

"Oooh, can I play? I prefer hers but maybe I am in a more distracted mood and looking for something different? A change of pace. She's quite a treat to enjoy. Especially when she is trying to be so serious."

"I'd really appreciate it if you better used your vast experience and knowledge reminiscing over another women besides my own, please."

"Now why would you ask me such a thing? She is right here, no? Why would I want to ignore such beauty when it is all right there in front of me? As if I could? That would be considered quite rude of a man where I come from. Of course, you Fereldon men, think only of high stones walls and epic bloodshed. None of those items contain much in beauty or pleasure for that matter. I find myself growing more homesick by the hour. So try to understand why your lady has become such a vital part of my days, entertainment."

"Perhaps, when the thought of her, crosses your mind, you might remind yourself also that Fereldon's men train hard and fight fierce battles so that they can also keep safe the virtue of their women."

"What for? So you can dress them up? Take them on a walk? A dog will serve the same purpose. If all you want to do is show them off, at least I, Zeveran, will acknowledge they are beautiful. If not also make myself available for their more desirable purposes in life?"

"Zeveran, you want to take Tara's mabari out for a walk? Good luck with that. As for anything else, I expect you to respect her as you would anyone else in this camp. I read because it is wise to educate oneself if you want to be successful and take good care of your family. Not only will I be responsible for my own landholdings soon but possibly even more in the future. I study battles because it is better to win a war than to die in one. I enjoy the company of a wife rather than that of just a mistress, so I will always put her well-being above whatever comes to mind if I feel she might not be feeling well. If you had ever had a mother or been around a woman long enough to pick up on these sort of instances, than perhaps we could have been spared this conversation. I could tell you how she can so easily distract me if I am not doing anything that I can't put off for later but I much rather torture your imagination instead. Don't push me though too much. I am a sort of fun loving man but I love Tara and you don't want me to think that I have to use you as a punching bag to prove my point. Have we reached an understanding?"

"Heh, Elf, I think he means it. Didn't get much sleep or anything else it seems so you'd best not push the boy too much tonight."

"Well, you do have a point, Oghren. To pick up that I mean your lady any harm however, perish the thought! As for myself, do not underestimate my skills or how clever I am with various poisons. Some work very fast and are very affective. Not that I have ever thought of such things in regards to you. I am good but your lady...sometimes I do find it difficult to assassinate something so delicious unless I have a lot of background on why this must be done. Never have I been so grateful that I failed to do my job than that day. It did not have to be so and there, I have confessed to you why I had failed in my mission. Though I do regret that I seem to hold no attraction to that fine lady, I find your relationship with her, amusing, and though I might have some fun with it, I would hardly have gone out of my way to say, spice things up some for you, if my intentions were ever to seduce her away from you. I feel pretty confident that you feel no honest jealously on my account. I hope, from what I have seen so far, that she has little trouble now in getting and keeping your attention when it it required. Actually, I am impressed that you have come along so well. It's refreshing to watch from the side lines, even if I much prefer to be an active participant myself. I know in time, I will find myself better entertained. So put away your sword and let us be friends. She would not be so nice to me if I should injure an important part of her own, personal, choice in entertainment. Probably leave my body in some putrid ditch somewhere in the deep roads. So distasteful a way to be left for dead."

"I almost was ready to put you there if you didn't stop sodden talking about it."

"I have to say, Zeveran, that you do have a cruel talent in making the man appear to be as attractive as the measles."

"Ha, ha it is but one of my many talents! I have been too hard on the man though, haven't I? He is a little uptight but she is too feisty to put up with a man who couldn't keep her satisfied, at least for very long. So? I tell myself he has some wicked, hidden talents that he is too embarrassed to share with the rest of us. Too bad for us. As long as he is not hurting anything but her feelings once in awhile, who are we to judge, hum?"

"What more can be said? This is not exactly the life of tea and crumpets is it now? Though once your Castle has fallen, so many of your people slain? Most of us would have preferred a more peaceful existence."

"You are a paid assassin, Zeveran. What is peaceful about that sort of life?" Alistair was taken aback some by his comment.

"Ha, ha, you think I always have to watch my back? That I am always surrounded by enemies at every turn, don't you? You know so little about the Crows my friend. First, we are strangers to most of the population. Where we hide out, only those who live amongst us or those who find a need for our services ever bother with us on a regular basis. I do not confuse adventure and frivolity with constant death and total destruction, do you?"

"He's right you know. I never sodden heard of them before I met all of you. We dwarfs solve our problems head on. I don't like the idea of having others do my dirty work for me. What's the use?"

"The benefit my friend is that your reputation, being what it is now, would be less tarnished and you would have found a more favorable spot in the local tavern, had you chosen not to be a drunken, loud mouthed, trouble maker, no? Not that I am judging you, of course. Just trying to help you understand the benefit of having problems solved in a more, sophisticated manner. We are well trained to do our work with the least amount of disruption in the everyday way of things. You will find you get so much more done and well, you are more welcome company where ever you go if your reputation is respected and feared equally my friend."

"I go where I please, when I please. I'd swing my axe at whomever says otherwise. You have your way of getting things done and we dwarfs have ours. I'm not going to stand around shooting arrows in the sky or waiting all day for some dangerous poison to do my work for me."

"Yes, finesse is so beyond any of your talents. That is why you do so well with the ladies, I've observed so far." Alistair added for good measure.

"Coming from a man who can't seem to score with the ladies at all,? Humph, maybe you should heed my advice some son." He shot back defensively.

"It all depends on the lady you are trying to woo. Some women fall easily for very little while others require a lot more attention before they are…convinced of your motives." Rory spoke up much to Alistair's surprise. He had secretly wanted to know what were Roland's true motivations toward their leader. For her to fall for such a man? He had more than a few inquires he felt he deserved to have answered before he would be convinced he truly was as honorable as he pretended to be.

"You've wooed many women than, have you, Roland? I must admit for a Teryn's daughter to..well…take an interest in such a man as you, I mean, seriously, that does peak my curiosity just a tad bit." Alistair took the opportunity of finally having Rory without Tara here to defend him or chide Rory into a show of chivalry.

"I can imagine you are full of questions about our romance, Alistair. Fine. I'll answer a few of them for you. I see no need to hide myself from someone like you."

"Well, let's just face it, Roland. Had we not been stricken by the blight or Arl Howe not betrayed the Teryn's family, the two of you wouldn't be together, is that not so? It was my understanding that you both parted ways a few years ago."

"This is so, Roland? Surely, you couldn't have given up so easily? For such a jewel, well,…a man will give up much for the pleasure."

"Yes, you are right, Zeveran. Had I been older when faced with the decision I had to make, I'm sure I would have handled it much better. Unfortunately, living most of my life in such a cloistered environment, as I know Alistair can relate to, it is easy to accept things as they are, instead of making them how they should be. In my defense though, I saw that joining the Grey Wardens, as perhaps a solution to our problem. I found I could not give up hope that we could find our true happiness, together."

"Perhaps, it could be. If the lady was willing to give up her title, her position, her families honor and live her life as peasant I suppose. It seemed like she was ready to consider her options finally before all of this madness came about."

"She had more than a few options at her doorstep, Alistair. Ones that, as you so delicately pointed out, would offer her much more prestige, as well as maintaining her families loyal affection toward her."

"It was even my understanding that Bann Teagan had a growing interest in her well-being. I wasn't sure you were aware of this though." Alistair was testing him now. How concerned really was he for Highever and those who provided for his own comfort?

"Bann Teagan you say? That man we met in Redcliff? He is, well, intriguing, perhaps getting up there in years for such a spirited young lady? When they met in Redcliff, I did notice a certain familiarity but nothing that says she felt anything that would lead to marriage, Alistair. Of course, she has more than a few opportunities, if it is wealth and power she coveted, wouldn't you say? Yet, given all of those opportunities…she still doesn't seem to be swayed from this roguish young soldier we have here in our presence." Zev looked over at Alistair wondering if he was really up to playing the card game as well as he pretended to be. Going after a man's pride, when he is in love, is a challenge that is always fierce and sometimes even bloody.

Zeveran himself was not sure who would really be victorious if Alistair played with all of the power that truly was his to wield. Up to this point, he saw only clumsy attempts on his part and fortunately, for Roland, he finally realized he better move in fast before he lost the girl he so lustfully pursued. Had Alistair been more experienced with the ladies and moved in on his prey faster, with more finesse, he would have been the victor and Roland would have been the man pining away for his lost love.

"Yes, so Teagan is already a Bann, much as my father is as well. Teagan's close ties to the Arl of Redcliff has given him some advantages over me which is understandable. If that were the only point to take under consideration, it is quite possible my own father would step down for my cause to ensure my right to marry. This was why I couldn't quite understand why the Teryn was so against my prospects to begin with? I know I was valuable to him as a soldier and I served as Fergus' second, often representing the family both as a military strategist and a financial correspondent for Highever. "

"Maybe it is possible that the Teryn thought you might be a threat to Fergus' reign if he married you off to his daughter? Or he just much preferred you to serve his son and feared in elevating your level of authority this might come into conflict with him? Ah, the ways of rulers and their insecurities with power is what keeps the Crows in business my friend."

"To think though that he trusted me so little? I was only ambitious in regards to securing my marriage with Tara. I knew what that entailed so I also felt it wise to learn all that I could about Highever's business matters. Had I not though, Fergus would have made a poor showing of things. He did his duty, as was expected of him, but I often suspected he was not pleased over all with how his marriage turned out. This then gave way to his seeking other distractions that he might not have, had he had a better marriage or felt more control over his life. However, it was still important that I learn these things in the terrible case of Fergus' falling in battle. He is a fine soldier. It took me some time before I could best him in a fight. After that, I learned to back down some. I only wanted to prove that I could. Not to hurt his pride. Just to build up their confidence in my ability. I had no other motive short of that. I had to win though to earn my promotion and I was hell bent to become the youngest Captain in time. I suspected that until than, I hadn't enough support from the Teryn to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. So I was patient and only hoped that Tara could be also."

"I can see now why the Teryn might have questioned your motivations. A man working tirelessly to advance his rank? Really, you should have focused more on your father's holding than your military prowess. Even as Captain of the Guards you are a glorified soldier. It was the wealth in land and prosperity in business that offers a man true importance and security. Of course that would separate you from Tara. I suppose you felt you could not hold on to one and increase on the other at the same time? A gamble it seemed you did not win overall."

"Yes, I can see my mistake now. Than again, Alistair, you are the bastard son of a servant, no land holdings, no honest title and still the Arl feels you will succeed as the King of Fereldon?"

"Funny how things happen that way isn't it? By mere blood I am allowed to move past all of those other obstacles directly to the throne. The title comes with the blood though, so honest or not, I am a Prince of the blood. I wonder if it was this possibility as to why the Chantry tried to hold onto me so much? Or why even Duncan found a use for me? I can't tell you how nice it is to find yourself moved around from one place to the other without having to suspect it is all so that others might increase their power or self-worth. Now, I even have Anora to deal with since it is more than obvious, she wants the crown no matter what. Really quite sad since I would be more than willing to give it to her, had she proven herself worthy of it. A ruler though who does not respect the honor and sacrifice that the military offers in support of their reign, just cannot be trusted. She would just as soon send us once more to our deaths than have to learn to understand battle and strategy. I have to wonder if she was as guilty as Loghain in plotting my brother's demise? If not, than why did he not trust her if she tried to dissuade him from going into battle before the Orlesian troops arrived?"

"As you pointed out already, Alistair, it is Tara and my understanding that Anora excluded herself from military tactics in favor of her father's advice. So on that matter, I would suspect that Loghain, not wanting any interference from his mortal enemies was the one who didn't want to wait before taking on the darkspawn and watering down any of his own glory in the battle. King Calain didn't seem to trust Loghain and deferred to the Grey Warden's instead for military tactics."

"Yes, but Duncan told him we needed to wait until we had a larger army before taking on the darkspawn. I could see his frustration over his lack of authority on the matter. Also why, Tara and I were taken out of the heat of the battle. She was so disappointed at first. I knew she was still angry over being sent away from Highever and the fate of her family."

"She was very close to them. We both shared a love for our people as much as our families. Yet in this matter, I can see now it was the best option. It seems Duncan too shared in her father's wisdom. I can only thank the Maker, since Duncan is no longer with us, for this intervention.

"So instead Lograin takes the fools way out of the fight. It is just another reason why one must master both fields to rule well I am learning to understand all too well. For some reason, I doubt that Anora could overcome her father's prejudices and unrealistic competition to bow down to the Arl of Redcliff on points of Govt. Something I know I will not tolerate. If he did not trust her completely, why should I?"

"So you too suspect that maybe, she allowed her father's guard to try to arrest you in order to get you away from the throne? Since Tara too stands in line, taking both of you out together just saved her some trouble that might arise later? She should have had the power to make her father's elite guard stand down but instead she forced all of us to fight it out to the end. Tsk, tsk, truly shameful upon reflection." Zeveran pondered out loud.

"Oh, it has crossed my mind, more than several hundred times. Of course, if Fergus turns up alive, she would have had to put more blood on her hands."

"I assure you that Fergus is well liked among those in the Landsmeet. Only the Arls themselves stand in his way to the throne but except for fulfilling his duties as a Teryn, I know he has no ambitions in that direction. I often suspected his wife might but I was never sure of that cause. I do know that Loghain was not pleased that Fergus took on a wife from Antiva. He considered that a grievous offense and it might have been what sent him over the edge of reasoning."

"Did Fergus turn down his daughter in marriage, than?" Alistair wondered.

"Well over looked her would be the appropriate term. Fergus may have his faults but he was not going to find himself married to a woman who was determined that she deserved to rule over everyone else. Could you even imagine it? Well, Fergus deserves some credit for avoiding that disaster. His wife was too distasteful of fighting or really anything that might involve getting oneself dirty. They were both relieved when Oren was born. Since no other children followed him, well, we figured they both felt relieved of their duty on that part and lived happily, basically separate lives, in contentment. Rather sad but I just believe they didn't have enough in common to really enjoy the others company beyond their duty to their station. I do believe they tried. I saw nothing but respect between the two of them so at least they had an understanding if not much of a love affair to brag about."

"Here it looked like only Dwarfs had their head in the sand but what a mess you have made of things up here."

"I can see now that Loghain would know of this through his daughter. Though King Maric and Lohrain were friends? So he shouldn't have needed his daughter to influence his friend over the matter?"

"No unless his friend the King would not honor his wishes. So Loghain needed another way to gain influence."

"I still cannot understand Loghain's madness? He could only win though with an alliance with Howe's army. That is one man whose bleeding corpse I did rally over as his life ebbed away from him. Yet he is gone and we are still left to grieve over our losses. I understand Tara's reasoning over this but I could not live knowing that he only wanted to see her dead. I did not believe he would ever stop trying. Not to mention what he might have done to her, had he ever gotten a hold of her. How could I ever bear something like that ever happening to her? He had to die and by my hands. I owed that to the people I swore to protect."

"She would have killed him. I have no doubt. If not I surely would have for what he had done. I did not blink an eye when I took out Loghain. I was happy Anora was there to see it happen. She needed to see what her own treachery had begot and her feigned ignorance. As much as seeing the Archdemon take off his head would delight me, it wasn't worth the risk of it. He could have just as well put one of us in the line of its' strike and see us all dead before the night had ended. His loyalty died with my brother's life. Actually before since he only made it that much easier for it to take place. My father may have found my existence to be a threat to his favored son but he allowed me to live never the less. So he obviously found something lacking in Calain or that would not have been the case at all from what little I do know of the working of the monarchy."

"Not to mention, Alistair, it was shared to me from some of the guards that the Arl Eamon had been trying to pressure your brother into finding a new wife, since Anora had failed so far to produce an heir." Roland remarked to further their line of reasoning.

"Ah, so she might have gotten word of this? Which would further turn the houses against one another. Tricky. Politics is a messy game. Any idea who was their target to replace her?"

"No, King Calain was resisting the urge but I doubt it would last for much longer. Just another insult put upon Loghain from the crown. Chances are she would come from Orlais, considering the signed agreement from the Empress. That is only a guess though."

"Considering how uncooperative the Teryn's daughter was in making any sort of marriage agreement…"

"Oh, please..even the Teryn was not that manipulative. As if Tara was the only noble woman left in all of Fereldon?"

"Apparently, marriageable noble ladies in Fereldon of a certain age were hard to find?"

"Thank goodness we were only once visited by the crown and Tara was too young to wed at the time. I do believe she attended a ball once in his honor but thankfully the King was married by then. Neither of her parents would agree to anything short of annulment on his part and even then for what you are even trying to suggest? They thought very highly of their daughter and would not give her up so easily. "

"So you say? They seemed pretty determined to marry her off before all of this had taken place. At least that was what she told me? She however was the one who refused to marry. How long could she keep this up? Who is to say? Besides Calain was the King was he not at this point? If he decreed it how could she resist? If he agreed to the annulment of course."

"Now that surely would have led to a Civil War. It would have been better for the man to seek a bride from another Country who would be more agreeable to the task required of her. It seemed he already had one frigid wife on his hands."

"Tara was not the sort of girl with stars in her eyes. I'm sure they would have offered Lady Cecelia and she would have been the better choice. I would think maybe better than the man she settled for at least to me. It would have greatly increased her mothers' security and as I said, it would have been a wise choice. She was a good and honorable young lady. Pretty in her own sense and worthy of the attention of a King."

"Ah but to turn down the King of your own Country? If refusing to give up her crush on a Palace Guard didn't get her sent to the Chantry, surely this would have been the final straw. Poor girl. Do you think she would have ran away from it? Could they keep her there against her will?"

"Good luck. Who would stop her from leaving? A bunch of Templer guards? That would have been an interesting predicament. I would hope that she would fight her way out rather than the alternative but she wouldn't have stayed and they wouldn't have wanted to keep her for very long."

"Of course. To think we could have met sooner though? Doesn't matter. Never happened. Too bad my brother failed to see all of the merits this other girl you mentioned possessed. I never knew the girl so I can hardly comment on her other attributes. As long as being bossy wasn't one of them she would have been an improvement over the one he gave into."

"And there you go, Alistair because I assure you, Tara is not a woman to be trifled with either. She's quite stubborn when she feels she is right on the subject."

"Yes, I find her to be a good leader over all. As for her desire to lead? She does what must be done and duty is something only the very brave can bear with décor. I admire her and respect her decisions since they most often reflect my own judgment. I value her advice as highly as I do the Arl's on most accounts. If one must lose a fight to a woman, let it be worth the effort to and knowing the other rewards are well worth the struggle that comes with it."

"Ha,ha, very wise words. What fight worth winning does not come with a struggle? None that come to my mind. At times the struggling, well, is the best part." Zev laughed and they all did except for Roland who smiled but felt Alistair was still dreaming that he might usurp him in the end.

"I am sure in time, in regards to Queen Anora, all of Fereldon will see this as forethought and not hindsight in the end. It is too bad, that Queen Anora could not see her father's treachery before she too became a pawn in it. However, the implications point too clearly to her. Even if she was willing to step on her father to keep her position of power. So messy these family squabbles."

"I just can't help but imagine, if it was so easy for Anora to be locked away in her room, what would happen if we had allowed Anora to rule?"

"I have no desire to find out and I eliminated the problem."

"From the standpoint of one who has himself played a part in determining who sits on the throne, I agree with you, Alistair on this matter. I also though feel that you have to deal with her for good for she will challenge you and may be able to cause a civil war, if she is not silenced and stripped of her power. She turned her back on you after all of you so bravely fought to free her. Now, I feel I must make the …rather uncomfortable suggestion that you share power with her.."

"Humph, are you suggesting I marry her to keep the peace? I could have your head, Zeveran, even for suggesting such a thing you know. I have that sort of power now"

"But I hope you can find some value in keeping it where it is. It was merely a suggestion. It is an option open to you that has been well…taken place in the past among ancient rulers."

"If Alistair were to marry for those reasons wouldn't it be better he take the same route as Fergus has? To marry an Ativan rather then a power hungry, easily misguided, daughter of a known tyrant?" Roland asked incredulously.

"Perhaps? It is merely an option to keep the peace that I am suggesting."

"An offer I cannot accept. Even in theory, Zeveran. As we pointed out, I clearly am not educated enough to handle the more mundane matters in court. I have the Arl of Redcliff, whom I feel really should be sitting on the throne, to handle those affairs. How long before Anora finds him to be a threat to her? Just the thought of her, "whispering conspiracies into my ear..argh…Anora, darkspawn…for some reason I put the two of them in the same category? I can't imagine why that is?"

"Oh a few scenes pop into my head. None of them are the least bit appealing."

"It would be like my trying to sleep with Branka, had she survived knowing what she did to our house, Paragon and all. Couldn't muster it. Not that she or I for that matter would have been able to survive the retribution the other houses would have heaped up on us if we even tried it."

"Now, that is exactly why, I don't want anything to do with Anora. The few Arls, that would accept her authority will be overwhelmed, as we clearly saw in the Landsmeet. They would start fighting against each other. Funny how she believed she was the better ruler when we had betrayal, slavery, all sorts of rebellions going on right under her very nose! I know I can at least do that much on my own without her interference."

"This is what Tara believes also. Just as I was, she trained in Government affairs, and took her education seriously. She once told me that one of the things that made me stand out above all of the others is my honest interest in the affairs of Highever. As well as our understanding that with power came assassins and the need to understand the value of those who served you as well. Most Kingdoms that have fallen have done so under military might. The others, from a lack of leadership. Both must be mastered if you intend on ruling and remaining in power over time."

"I do agree on those points, Roland. That is why I also know who I choose as a partner is equally as important if I want my reign to be successful. I have every intension though to take on Bann Teagan as my second since I have no fear of losing a fight but I do need to strengthen my allegiances between the rulers of Fereldon. He is well liked and respected among the houses here."

"Very well than if we have settled this matter that has nothing at all do with what had me concerned about Tara and the Grey Wardens…"

"Of course, if another member of Fereldon's royalty found it right to do her duty, than at least this one problem might be resolved?"

"I find that hard to believe. I knew this topic would come up eventually, Alistair, if you would like to discuss it further I feel it should be done in private."

"Oh, no, you don't, soldier boy! I know I want to hear the rest of your story as well. Might as well spit out all of the good parts while the rest of us are here. I know I want to know what makes you so special around here."

"I'm sure you do. Anything I can do to help you, as long as you respect my boundaries, as well as my relationship, I am at your service." Rising now, as if he was going to give a speech to the troops, Roland started to pace the well trampled ground some. Partly from the irritation that follows having to answer for your motives in the first place and partly due to his need to just move around after lying down so long trying to read under a dim candle light.

"Yes, please go on. I have many stories to tell but none so much as this? Tonight, I find your circumstances and your scheming to be the most interesting of them all. Don't let Alistair intimidate you. Not that I feel his mischief will influence your choices at this point in the game. At all."

"Now wait here, Zeveran. If I have learned anything from what has happened in the last few month, it is that duty is what keeps the peace here in Fereldon. I could have walked away from mine, run off to Orlais, have the time of my life and left Fereldon to it's fate."

"Well, at least until Anora's men found you and took care of you for good. Do not think she would let you live after the Arl's challenge. Your friends would also be on that list as well. She was not as well liked as she would have us all believe and there are many who would like the gold gained from such an exclusive contract."

"I have no problem taking out some would be assassins. As for the aristocracy? Let them fight out their own battles amongst themselves. These Arl's who seem so intent on taking each other out to benefit their need for more attention and more power. None of that will change even when I am King. I know this. I have always known this and I had no desire to find myself in the middle of it all. Yet, I am smart enough to see that many people will suffer even more, families that have no claim to power or more money. Corruption is rampant when there is no King to rule and take charge over these spoiled and often unworthy brats. I'm just saying that we respect our titles and placement in life because it is for the benefit of all of the people who look up to us for guidance and charity. If those of us, who are good, refuse to stand up to our duty, than only those who are unworthy will triumph."

"Now he sounds like the old lady, doesn't he? She been bending your ear a bit too much lately there, Templer."

"Really? Do you think so? I have to admit, despite my honest efforts, it is getting a little more difficult to maintain my more fun loving attitude these days. Of course, things are changing so rapidly in my life. I know, I need to be more careful, in all things, from now on. Not to mention the price on my head has probably gained considerable value now than it has in previous times."

"That much is true, I'm afraid to say."

"Now how can that be any worse than having an eight foot Orge on your tail? Last time I checked, they don't' seem to sodden care if you'll be wearing a crown or not. Just as long as they can smash you into paste and serve you as breakfast."

"He does have a point. They however all seem to like to be chasing the skirt around a whole lot more than the one who carries around the biggest sword."

"Do you think it has to do with that whole, "Broodmother" thing? I mean, should she wear a sign telling them she is a Grey Warden?" Alistair said as if the whole group knew of her new fertility problems.

"What does having to be a Grey Warden mean to them other than the fact that the whole purpose of the Wardens is to hunt them down to extinction? Wouldn't that be even more of a hazard to her?" Roland asked him astonished by his remark.

"It's just Wardens rarely, if at all, have any children. I thought it was obvious? Isn't the whole point of capturing females is to force them to breed? Not that I even want to imagine such a fate for any woman at all."

"Is this true? Are you sure of this or is this just some rumor you heard from a group of drunken old men."

"You really don't know much about Grey Wardens do you, Roland? And here you were, so anxious to give up your freedom to become one. Mores' the pity."

"Wait, I want to hear more about this story of Roland's. You seem to know more than we do, Alistair, but she did spend the most time with you when in camp. I here, am new and it is much harder these days to get her to just talk about, "old times"."

"This fellow here is so determined to occupy all of her free time. Not that I blame him. If she had better taste in men, I'd sign up for the job myself." Oghren grinned fiendish. Roland rolled his eyes while the rest of the men just couldn't resist the urge to laugh out loud. Not all for the same reason. Taken though from several different perspectives his words were hilarious never the less.

"Lucky for me than I suppose? Fine than, I'm ready to speak if you are ready to listen."

"Cut the formality and just spit it out, man. I'm running a little short on ale."

"I can see now, that I was wrong to let myself accept the Teryn's words as law. I let things like honor and duty, keep me in line when I should have been doing everything in my power to change my circumstances. We could have left the Castle, forever, if necessary. Though Tara was close to her parents, if not for this one thing. They took good care of her and of course, they wanted to ensure that she would be well cared for and that Highever would remain secure for future generations. What they lacked though was vision. Something I know I have an abundance of."

"Oh so you could do a better job at running things than the Teryn of Highever? At what, only eighteen? No wonder he felt the need to keep you away from his only daughter." Alistair quipped back sarcastically.

"I didn't say I was better but that I was well educated and it didn't even matter except for running my own household. The Teryn trusted his life in my hands as well as that of his family. It was because I could protect them from danger. Had I been the Captain of the Guards, there would have been a little less drinking and a lot more training going on at Highever." Roland tried to explain to them.

"Oooh, sign me up for that army. Not! What is wrong with some drinking and revelry? The only real good things to do until you come across some heads that need to be whacked into two."

"I must admit, our dwarfish friend has a point here. Perhaps, you plan too much? Or too little? A group of seasoned men need time to get away from the boredom of every day service on a regular basis. I myself could not be a part of such a group for too long of a period of time. Four walls, even Castle walls, would drive me to tears over time. Even if their halls were decorated with pretty ladies to distract me from such tedious boredom."

"To each his own but then, I did have a vital interest in the well being of the Cousland family and their holdings. Howe beat us only because he had the advantage, not because he was better than we were. Still, as for the Teryn's holdings, Fergus was in line after his father. His wife had already given him an heir, so there was no real pressure for Tara to have to serve in that duty except to help support her brother's holdings and to continue to build good will among their fellow rulers. No, I'm afraid it was just pride that kept her parents from allowing us to marry. Tara was more than willing to give up everything just so that we could be happy together. I was the one who caved in to the role of duty. I wasn't prepared to be so thoroughly rejected out right as a suitor."

"You were treated as part of the family, no? Yet, when money and power are involved, it is seen as a father's duty to marry his daughter off to the most secure and prosperous of suitors. It is something you yourself might consider with a daughter of your own someday. Still, I see some of your point, even if it might have been laced somewhat by your own arrogance."

"Arrogance? My father is a Bann as well? True, had he re-married and had more children, our estate would have thrived but he felt it best that I serve the Teryn first. I cannot answer for my father's choice for not re-marrying. Only that my memories of my mother are fond ones. She would have been a very difficult woman to have to replace in one's heart I can imagine. I'm hardly a peasant but I don't want false vanity either to cloud my own assessment of myself. I have worked among such peasants and many have proven themselves to be just as worthy as I am despite their lack of prestige and title. As for my service, our family comes from a long line of men whose service to the crown is both an honorable one and something they themselves have long sought from us. However, when I was faced with the obstacle of making a future for us, I should have considered outside options instead of staying put and accepting the Teryn's judgment."

"You got that right son. I've seen you in battle. You could have moved onto another Castle or offered your services elsewhere so the two of you could stay together.. Hell, I put up with loads of crap to keep Branka and I together. Not that it was worth half of it now but than, what the hell? We were in love and she was quite a woman."

"Yes, some woman." Alistair offered sarcastically.

"Left him for another woman. I still cannot understand that one? Surely, the man would have made certain, accommodations, for such an arrangement I would think? Is that not so, Oghren?"

"Now that I would have to think about. All depends on the woman. Then who wants to share anything when you don't rightly have to? Doesn't matter now anyways. The option never came up, so no reason to go there, if you know what mean?"

"Tis a pity though. To see you so lonely and deserted like this. Even you my friend should be mated with someone of your like or something like that."

"Coming from an Elf who doesn't seem as concerned with a committed relationship, I suppose you mean it in a good way."

"It is not like I am against such things. It is the life of a paid assassin that makes something of that sort, maybe, too challenging? Sometimes, I must get more committed to my marks than say, your average shop keep must to complete the sale or finish off my marks. I would not want to bring heart break or disappointment to any a fine lady by just doing my job? So, I am content to be friendly with many women rather than just to a say, a few? As long as I am honest, I see no harm in this lifestyle. As opposed to so many I have found who rather deceive their partners or cuckolded them in private. While the rest of the world watches in shame or amusement."

"A very good point. I hope that doesn't happen to me. I really want to marry for love. Not just to keep the peace. I'm not sure I will have that option however." Alistair confessed dishearteningly.

"You have some time to figure all of that out."

"It may have taken me a few years of misery to realize that no one can replace the woman that you truly love. At least now, I have no doubts that staying with Tara is the right choice for her as well. Her feelings for me have not changed over time. Fate is what you make of it. Not what has to make you. That was why I decided to join the Grey Wardens. Not only was it a prestigious organization but it would take me and hopefully, us, out of Highever and onto a life of our own. If that did not work out, I was ready to move on. If Tara was willing to give up so much, I had to be willing to, too, take more chances so that we could be together."

"Maybe you would have survived the joining, maybe you won't. I suppose that those who don't have to really worry about the consequences after the fact? Though that one man who lost his life? I wonder what became of his wife? Maybe it was unfair of Duncan to ask such a man to accept that much risk? Personally, I think he was off on his judgment on that poor fellow but we are all prone to make a mistake now and than. The life of a Warden though is fraught with peril. If you have no children how is your wife suppose to keep herself entertained while you were off killing darkspawn? Especially, if she was forced to give up all that she knew growing up. Not to mention what repercussions came from stealing a Teryn's much loved daughter out of his power. Of course she does have her Beowolf, who seems to love you ever so much."

"You mentioned this earlier, Alistair, with so much confidence. If we had no children? In time I would hope that we would. Why do I have this doubt now suddenly? This ritual, it makes you sterile? Are you so sure of this? I wonder why she never mentioned this to me? I admit I was surprised she didn't want me to be more careful. It really isn't the right time to start a family. My only understanding was that a GW's duty was to just fight off darkspawn during a Blight? Help keep the peace, good will, between the adjoining Kingdoms? There is more?"

"Oh, yes. So much more. Still want to be a Grey Warden?"

"Perhaps but I do need to know more before I make such a choice."

"I have no desire to become a GW, Alistair, at this time, so please, do not do any of that conscription honor on me if you will. Ah, I still have many more adventures before me but right now, I am still trying to figure out how it was that you, Roland, could so easily give up the attention of such a fine creature? Surely you did not exercise all of your charms on her when it would have been most advantageous for you to do so? Even when you found each other once again, I was not sure how things ended between you two because of the way you acted around her? I myself found her instantly attractive and something worth as much of my time as I could spare for such pursuits…."

"When you put it that way, I suppose you are right. I don't deserve her love. It seems her devotion was much stronger than my own. The attraction though between us, it was like a magnet, always bringing us close to each other. I did try to end the relationship. I tried to let it go, hoping that she might have a more comfortable, happy life without having to live with the disdain of her family all of the time. I didn't try to walk away because of a lack of love. Rather it was the intensity of it that sacred me more than any soldier I ever faced in a fight. I knew, if I didn't do something, I was going to cross that line and probably lose my head for doing it. As in it being detached from my neck. Was that sort of grief worth her having to bear so early in her lifetime? It would bring too much grief to my father who already had more than he could bear as it was losing my mother. I felt that eventually, even Tara would blame me for my lack of discipline and poor judgment. So, I let her go.

When we met again. Of course I was happy to see her. However, I had just gone through my own personal crucible. Losing our battle so shamefully, the loss of her parents, so much suffering, I just wasn't in any shape to think about courting or even finding out that she was betrothed to someone else? I just felt we needed the time to be sure of ourselves before trying to pick up where we left off so long ago. I hope that make some sense to you Zeveran. It was not because of a lack of love for her, of that I can assure you." He explained, leaving the men around him to silently contemplate what he had already been through.

"This, I can try to understand than. It was lucky that you snapped out of it though. You did share many memorable times in your youth did you not? Now for that to not have happened would simply be just too pitiful to have ignored. The two of you had so much opportunity to be much closer living within the same Castle."

"We had our moments. Certainly. I wish I was more careful because it all ended too soon. We lost what should have been many more memorable years because we both honored the Teryn's harsh judgment of our actions. I could have been more forward, as you suggested. However, I wanted her respect most of all. I would not keep it if I put her into a situation that might bring her some dishonor because of her tender age. Perhaps, that was foolish of me in terms of being her lover but I needed to be much more than that to her since what I have always wanted was to keep her as my wife."

"Ah, the two can go hand in hand my friend. I can understand better your foolishness than. Not that I wholly approve of all of it. The thrill of young love is intoxicating. I am sorry you had to miss out on so much of its' benefits."

"Had the Teryn been reasonable, we would not have had to miss out on much of anything. Had he known though what was to befall us? Perhaps he might have made a better choice."

"I still fail to see how her choosing to marry you would have been a "better choice?" I'm missing the part where it says you honestly had the means to suitably take care of a wife and all that it brings with it."

"Why must you be such a spoil sport, Alistair? They were in love! They should have been lovers not separated by petty rules that truly are meaningless when the covers fly off and two people find the opportunity to enjoy what is important about being alive in this world."

"You make it sound so easy. If that were the case, if it was so meant to be, than the Maker himself would have intervened to make it happen that way."

"I don't much care about this Maker type that you all seem to be so fond of. I do know when you have the right girl in your sights, you grab her while you can. Hold her down until she stops all of that squealing, like a rampaging nug and make her see things your way. Woman come around if they know you are serious about them or they want to play the same games that you want to. He already said though that he tried and well, failed in his first honest attempt to make all of that stuff happen for the two of them. Tough luck. Still, are you now going to admit that your Maker brought them back together under circumstances that they can navigate through now? Even though it just might be the end of it all for any of us thanks to those darkspawn out there."

"A good point, Oghren. Alistair, how do you explain all of this happening now? Fate it seems has brought them back together and well, they seem to be getting along very well indeed."

"It really isn't my place now is it to say what is right and what isn't when it isn't my life to control now is it? Time will tell how her brother will take things or what the future might offer to us all."

As the men continued to talk and sometimes laugh out loud they didn't notice that Leliana had come out of her tent. She listened for a short while and felt that she rather just play her music than join them in conversation. It wasn't long after she started to play that Tara stirred as well from her uncomfortable position and the rise in temperature. She rolled over some expecting to bump into Roland. She did this only to find that he was no longer in their tent. So she forced herself to rise up on her elbows to listen if she could hear him moving about. All she heard was Lelianna's mandolin and she decided to get up and find out what was keeping Rory. She knew sometimes, if he had bad dreams, he would just hug her closer while other times, he felt the need to just walk off any anger that might arise from memories he found too hard to ignore.

She noticed, as she straightened a jumble of blankets that she was warmer than she should be? It was a long week and she wasn't feeling very well when she finally gave into to Rory's prodding that she just sleep some tonight. Tara wasn't so sure that was really how she wanted to spend their evening together. It seems though that he was able to put her to sleep even if it meant he must have been too restless himself to stay that way for very long. Now she regretted that choice because he needed his rest as much as she did. They never had too much time anymore to just relax and be together alone. Not that this qualified much as alone time but it was all they had to choose from until the blight was ended. Some days, Rory was in such a rush to get through this all while others, tomorrow was certainly soon enough. She smiled thinking about this. It seemed she was going to have to work a little bit harder to convince him that it was fine to rest a couple of days. It was hard for her to imagine he didn't see what they were really up against in this fight? After tackling that Broodmother, she knew exactly how horrible things were going to get for all of them.

If she didn't already have nightmares about the Archdemon, the fate of her parents and maybe even her brother, surely she would have them after going through that underground nightmare. She left with a greater respect for the Dwarfs of course. It seemed the fight to keep the darkspawn away from their gates was a never ending one. Destroying the anvil was one of the hardest choices she ever made. Had they not resorted to using prisoners or making Golum slaves out of others, maybe she would have made a different choice? Some people probably would choose to become Golums in service for their people? Apparently though, not enough and so she had to defer to the one who created it and he was determined to destroy it.

Tara suddenly found herself looking quickly for her brush to at least brush out her matted hair before braving the great outdoors. Leliana would do at least as much and her mother would expect it of her so she quickly ran her brush through her long dark hair and than exited the tent to talk to her friend.

"Oh, Tara, you are awake! I thought I heard you rustling around in there. I'm so glad to see you and here, see what I have? I bought this sweet roll in town, thinking I would eat it after our dinner, it being whatever it was and you know, I am use to something a whole lot better than we have."

"I do understand your predicament, Leliana."

"Oh, yes you do. Here, I wanted to share it with you. That was my plan all along so please don't refuse my offer or feel you are taking something away from me. I know, I never meant to store it in my tent. I know I have tempted the fates that ants would seek to devour it and make my tent that much less inviting but so far I am lucky. I do not mean though to press my luck any further so here."

"Thank you very much. I have to admit, I was craving something sweet. This will do for now."

"Ah, of course. I am sure you as well are use to a much better variety of food, being a Teyrn's daughter. Maybe not so much as we are from Orlais but I have had decent food even in Denerim."

"I hope so. Don't let Alistair's cooking influence your impression of food here in Fereldon. Rory has done a much better job has he not? He has taught me so much already, which is very shameful, I admit."

"How so? Oh you mean that you are not a good cook? At least that is understandable. I'm sure you had cooks, servants who did those type of things. I am impressed some with Rory's cooking. He can only work with what we can acquire on short notice, which is understandable. I try very hard not to say anything and be grateful we have food to eat."

"Yes, so do I. Uhmm..this is very good..and see, I have eaten mine already. How long has Rory been awake?" Tara asked as she looked for something to wipe her sticky hands with and then offered the towel to her friend as she waited for her reply.

"I am not sure. I have only been awake for the last half an hour. They seem to have found something amusing to discuss but usually it is at our expense so I choose not to join them. I much prefer your company over theirs but you are not usually awake or at least out here among us this late at night." She smiled and Tara smiled back knowingly.

"Very true. Had he not left our tent I probably would still be there as well. At least he is talking to the others instead of just walking around in the forest. I get so nervous when he does that. I keep thinking of darkspawn or assassins come to finish the rest of us Cousland's off for good. Not that I don't welcome them after a decent nights rest. I'll kill everyone of them, two or three at time if I must. I fear it will be this way before we really will be at peace in my family again. I was thinking about my brother again when I was trying to sleep. Father wanted me to warn him but Duncan never gave me the chance to look for him. Not knowing, if he is alive or dead, it is just maddening, that's all."

"I understand completely. Well, if I had any family left, I would feel as you do. It was very hard to lose Marjolaine for me. To know she turned on me in such a way. We are very close now, to our end fight. I wish I could say we had time to find your brother but not having a clue as to where to look? It seems best we stay on this course for now."

"Yes. Having no word from any of the noble families, if he was alive, I would expect him to get word to at least one of them. I..I..think I need to get some water now. (yawn) I'm so sleepy still but it's so hot out tonight and..my stomach doesn't feel very well now." Tara rose clumsily to her feet. Though she found it a little difficult to walk she was determined that she had to have some water or else her stomach might heave on her. Something she was not in the mood to have to deal with this late at night.

"Be careful. Are you sure you don't want me to get it for you?" Leliana asked but already she could tell she was being ignored so she watched closely in case she would stumble.

"Hey there, Highever, is that your girlfriend I see over there in that white sheet? Not something really I'd have my gal walking around in. Just hard to listen to her talk wearing that, if you know what I mean.?

"What are you…oh, Maker's breath, no! She wasn't feeling well tonight and I wanted her to get more sleep" Rory almost jumped out of his own skin attempting to move quickly to help her before she stumbled over something.

"Nice sleepwear. Not that I'm complaining but you might want to grab that loose blanket over there, Roland, before she realizes she has an audience. At least it will do, until you can find her a matching robe. I know, women can be so picky about their wardrobes and such." Alistair suggested wondering what compelled him to allow her to wear such a thing when anything can attack them late at night? Such a fool he shook his head just than.

'My love, please, let me help you back to our tent. Tell me what you need and I will get it for you." Rory asked her in a rush as he tried to hold tightly onto her wrist while he spoke. He tried to wrap the blanket around her shoulders but she impatiently brushed it off her as if it were contagious. "Tara, please, it would be better if you covered up right now."

" Just..stop doing that! I'm so hot.. I need..I need to get some water. Cool off. My stomach doesn't feel very well either." She confessed but wouldn't stop.

"I understand. I can get that for you but please…just …listen to me."

"Maybe you should find her something in a plaid fabric, Rory. I mean, white silk does feel so good but considering our conditions, living here at camp? I really didn't think much about it when she came out of her tent." Lelianna called out feeling uncomfortable for them both.

"I doubt it would be quite as attractive in plaid,? Not that I ever expected her to spend much time wearing it. That wasn't the point of the gift. I myself appreciate a woman's assets but now and than something

different I do not mind so much? I like to think I have good taste when it comes to dressing women…well, I have a talent for it, no? I wish the rest of you would stop being so prudish. My lady," Zeveran raised his voice hoping to get here attention but his words were more for show so it didn't matter to him either way, " you are welcome to wear whatever suits your fancy here at camp! Do you men not understand that a woman is a fine jewel, she should be comfortable to wear what feels right to her and treated as such. I will never understand some of your sense of modesty when surely, you do not all practice it in your own bedrooms. At least I hope not!"

"Maybe if she was my toy to play with, I might not think much about it but she's our leader as well and like I said before, I have to take orders from her. That's all I'm saying."

"I have only been concerned with her safety. So tell me, Zeveren, you gave this to her? When?" Alistair asked him absently.

"Her safety? Ha, ha but of course! Yes, I gave it to them, in a round about way you can say. Actually it was her gentleman friend who gave it to her."

"Ah, so it was a gift, incognito. Very clever of you."

"I'd like to think so but my friend, it was not so devious a plot to force her to reveal herself in such a way as you might think. I came across it in our travels. It's owner had no further use for such a garment. I remembered how she told me about her life in Highever. A daughter of nobility is use to owning such fine clothing. Now, reduced to wearing all of that leather and metal. Under the right circumstances that can be quite attractive…

"Seriously, Zeveran…" Alistair interrupted.

"No seriously, it can be! Still, as things are, rarely does she get the opportunity to wear such fines things now? With the loss of her family, her home, it would be quite a shock to me as it were. However she has put all of that aside to help us all beat this blight. So I thought that she would appreciate something fine like this. Even if only it was something to wear at night. I am sure even Rory finds it hard to keep reading all of those books he seems to like to lug around when he knows she is wearing something so attractive."

"Some of us like to sleep at night."

"Really? Funny I hadn't notice you sleeping all that much these days?" Leliana mentioned before catching up with her friend's struggle.

"Tara, I told you, just please stop being so stubborn. I can see you aren't feeling well. Just let's lay down and I promise I'll get you some water." He said grabbing her arm again after she broke free of his grip. He didn't want to bruise her but he also feared her stumbling and tripping over her gown.

"No! Unhand me now or I promise you won't be able to use that hand again.!" She shouted while trying to bend over as if to grab something she dropped.

"Ah yes, the lake! I'm so hot and that will solve my problem finally."

"No, Tara don't! Rory can you not keep a hold of her? You are twice her size!"

"No go ahead, the water is fine." Oghren said fiendishly. " I'd toss her in myself if he let me. The woman needs to come to her senses.

"He won't. Don't listen to him, Tara, listen to Rory. Rory, be careful. There is a branch right near your foot…oooh! Men! " Leliana shouted out too far away to offer them much help in time.

"What is all this noise! I was trying to read mother's grimoire and suddenly all of this commotion. Are we being invaded again by darkspawn? When the sun goes down is it not too much to ask that so does the noise level in our camp?" Morrigan emerged from her make shift fortress to find out what was causing such a ruckus.

"Morrigan, that branch… near Rory's...Roland's boot...can you…? ? Leliana shouted out in a sudden panic.

"You mean the one that Roland is sure to trip over and break both of their necks over. Yes, I can see it …now… there.. problem solved. Now if you can kindly explain to me what you are doing over here? I understand you feel you are being ignored Roland but it is much too late to be playing silly games right now."

"I'm not playing a game and whew, at least your voice distracted her just enough so I can, get a better grip on her." He swooped her up into his arms quickly and than knelt down some to make sure he had a better grip on her before trying to carry her away.

"Hey, did you see that?" Alistair asked his party almost in shock. "When he lifted her up, she has a dagger strapped to her leg."

"With all of that ruffle I almost missed it but than she looked like she was almost going to pull it on him, didn't she?" Zev commented suspiciously.

"Ten sovereigns says she will before he gets her back to bed." Oghren sort of laughed raucously.

"That is a bet I'm afraid you may win my dwarfish compatriot. Now, besides those long legs? Why yes, I did. Tell me my friend Rory, does she always sleep with her dagger strapped to her leg like that? Are things well my friend between the two of you?"

"What? Yes, what is the matter with you?" Rory answered back feeling hostile some because of their lack of concern for the moment.

"I was merely asking because it seems she is wearing a rather elaborate fashion accessory there. I mean, if everything is fine, than c'est la vie. A man can be rather intimidated by such a thing. Than again, a woman might be assured of a fine performance this way. Ah, but well ... such pressure it must bring you, no?"

"No woman of mine is bringing a knife to bed with me." Oghren grunted.

"No, I wouldn't suppose you would allow such a thing." Zev agreed.

"He might need one to keep her there." Alistair quipped with a wry grin.

"You might need one to get her there." Oghren shot back shaking his head in defiance. "I can protect my women." He then warned them with a snarl.

"So does she ever take it off?" Alistair wondered.

"I'll never tell."

"Will you boys stop it now! Metal rusts. A woman, a trained assassin with a dagger strapped to her leg, who would have guessed? Sleeping in this camp, I'd say she was just being smart." Leliana let out exasperated.

"True. We talked about it when we...well when... we first got together and decided it best she keep things the way that they were. I don't find it too hard to move around since I know it is there." He turned around to make sure the men knew he was addressing them when he spoke about the rest, "I don't have performance problems so I never felt intimidated with her wearing it. Hope I'm not disappointing anyone here."

"I was not truly suggesting that you did my friend. My apologies."

"She takes it off." Oghren decided out loud.

"I'm sure of it." Alistair said confidently.

"Ignore them." Roland told Morrigan who was already counting to ten.

"I rarely acknowledge them at all. I was asking about Tara?"

I don't mind your asking me, Morrigan. She is getting very sick. It seems her fever has gotten worse and I seem to recall she can be quite stubborn when she doesn't feel well. She must be thinking she is still at home, in Highever. She hadn't been too far from it most of her life. Things are so different here. I'm sure she never thought we would end up like this. She's just been felling ill. With a fever now, I think she has forgotten where we really are. Sometimes I have to think about it myself. We have been on the road for so long now." I need to get her back to our tent now".

"Fever you say? Here, let me take a look at her and don't look at me as if I was going to change her into a toad or something ghastly. I need her just as much if we are going to end this blight."

"Very well, just be careful. She is feisty when she doesn't feel well."

"I'll consider myself warned. Yes, definitely a fever. Wait here and I will get you something to treat it. It is amazing that any of your people have survived considering your constant lack of effective civilized medicine." She told him as she retreated back to her camp site for a remedy.

"Are you really going to give her something to take from this witch?" Alistair asked whispering the way a drunk does, which really isn't very quiet and never quite effective.

"What choice do I have right now? I'm more worried about her fever getting worse."

"But in her condition, Rory? Shouldn't you be more careful with her?" Leliana spoke up cautiously.

"Her "condition", Lelianna? What do you, what does she mean, Rory? Is there something more you aren't telling us."

"I'm sorry. I was suppose to tell you about the dagger? Hum?" Rory mocked them nonchalantly.

"My predictions are rarely wrong. Have you not noticed? She is craving sweets, thirsty in the middle of night, eating or not eating so much? Upset stomach. These are all signs are they not?"

"Among other things, Leliana, yes, I noticed them."

"Oh, now wait one minute!"

"Are you saying she is …surely, I thought the gown was a nice gift but..that was not my intention. This is hardly the time for such things to be taking place. How long have they been a couple, Leliana?"

"That doesn't matter as much as being careful about such things are." She reminded him.

"That can't be the problem so at least you can stop worrying everyone, Leliana. You missed some of our conversation before. She is tainted. T.A.I.N.T.E.D! That means that pregnancy is almost impossible in her case."

"You say, "almost impossible", that still leaves, "possible" as an option. Men. How many female GW have you encountered, Alistair?"

"None from his account."

"So? That doesn't mean that Duncan didn't know what he was talking about? I saw pictures of some. They do or did exist from time to time."

"Pictures. I take it they weren't baby pictures. Men don't carry babies either, just to let you know."

"There was that Broodmother thing back in Ozammar. She must have been tainted as well? Maybe it is different for women? I don't know but we should not rule it out completely." She argued back breathlessly.

"I don't know what is true. I was surprised that she didn't ask me to be more careful or changed the subject if I brought it up? In the moment well, it isn't something you really want to argue about so I didn't bring it up any further. Right now though, I rather risk the medicine. We have no physician out here and I can't risk losing her now. Morrigan doesn't have to be here. If she wanted to poison any of us, she would have done so by now." Rory reasoned and held Tara closer in his arms. She had almost fallen asleep.

"Considering I haven't poisoned Alistair for that concoction he labels as food and we have all survived a meal of that, I see nothing for any of you to fear here. Not that I cannot be persuaded to change my mind so I suggest that none of you tempt me beyond reason." She moved closer to Rory to kneel down to hand him an odd shaped bottle that did make him feel uneasy.

"Do you feel you can manage to give this to her or would it be better if I do it. I rather not but if I must, I will."

"I think I can manage it. Let me get her back to bed. Thank you for helping us. I am in your debt." He told Morrigan almost cringing at the thought of ever owing his favor to such a woman but in the moment nothing really mattered. He just wanted to get away from everyone right now. So many unanswered question running through his head right now. He really just wanted to think things through.

"I was told that you were able to slay the dragon that Flemeth transformed herself into. So, with this our accounts should be settled. I am grateful. However considering how close Tara came to falling into that stagnant pool of water? I have my doubts but if you insist, I am going back to my reading. I expect no more disasters will come about this night?" She looked around the group for someone to dare speak out but they all remained silent. "Good". Than she returned to her reading.

"So you can't have children of your own, Alistair? I'm surprised they made you the King than." Oghren mentioned with a grunt.

"I didn't say never. Just that is wasn't easy. Kind of creepy though, thinking how much the changes that being blighted bring that resemble, that condition…like we have something inside of us that might be changing us in some horrible way…Oghren, we really have to find something better to drink around here."

"Nothing wrong with my ale. I ain't got the blight. When you start looking like your insides, I'm going to chop you into pieces, just to warn you ahead of time."

"When I start looking like some abomination, you have my permission to do so. No, I won't live long enough to have to worry about that though. GW never get old.

"What? Now what are you talking about Alistair? Must you vex us all?" Leliana asked seriously annoyed with his conversation most of this evening.

"Nope. That is why Warden's go to the Deep Roads when they get old. It's the taint. Eventually, it drives you mad and well, most GW prefer a more honorable death, if there is no blight to deal with at the time."

"So how old is old, Alistair. Just for instance?"

"Somewhere in our fifties, I think? Not sure there really is a set number? Just that you know when your time is short. Maybe someone sends you a telegram. Hello so and so, just to let you know…" He joked foolishly while Rory was thinking about where he left his sword as Alistair was talking away. He wasn't sure how many more horror stories Alistair had in him for one evening.

"Having second thoughts about things now, my friend.?" Zev asked Rory with some remorse.

"About us, no, of course not. It is just she has sacrificed so much for all of us. Most of the people of Fereldon will never know just how much. Just please tell me this, Alistair, if she is tainted and you are tainted, what interest did you ever have in her in the first place? I don't understand. At all."

"No I suppose you wouldn't. I never planned or asked to be the King. Perhaps you might keep that in mind when you ask me such questions in the first place, Roland. Hearing Anora's words though, what little choice did I have? Was she really afraid of her father or actually plotting to get Tara and I, out of her way? I doubt I will ever know for sure. I..we just don't trust her. Now, I can't go back on my word. I don't' get the luxury that you do, to just walk away from my responsibilities, live a normal life." He took in a heavy breathe and let it out slowly. Trying to abate any anger he now felt for this man who was so sure he understood everything about life, if only from a single perspective.

"I didn't walk away from my responsibilities either. That was my first mistake though but my situation is different from yours. I know my destiny now. I have no doubts and I will not let her down again. I was a fool. I know it and I am sorry if this has caused you any pain. I hope that you can see, believe, I will do whatever it takes to protect her from harm. I had every intention of becoming a GW. I had nothing to fear even from the taint. Now though, I have a lot to think about so please excuse me. Already I have stayed out here too long."

"Rory, please, don't be upset. I never brought any of this up to hurt you. I ..I can be wrong sometimes. Still, maybe Alistair is right, maybe he just isn't sure… so please be careful with her. Time will tell what really is the matter with her, right? She is a good fighter, better than most of us. You helped train with her so you know this. We will watch out for her, right? Just try to sleep. I will get you some water, if you could just let her sleep."

"Thank you, Leliana. I know. I think she started to faint back there. I just don't know what's wrong with her but hopefully, I will find out soon. It hasn't' been that long since she was tainted so anything is possible. I just want to be careful. I don't want to imagine my life without her at any point of time at this moment. Please excuse me now." He stopped talking, stepping awkwardly around all of the things they had lying around the camp site to make his way to their tent. He thought how grateful he was that it wasn't a dream about darkspawn that had awoken her. He was positive they would have died, tripping over all of these things. He will bring it up in the morning. He made his way to their tent and finally got settled in. He was able to get her to take Morrigan's scary medicine and Leliana had left enough water for her to drink down after it. He wet a towel he found in his pack and covered her forehead with it to help bring down the fever faster.

Pulling off most of his clothes before covering himself up beside Tara, than pulling her tightly into his arms, he tried to settle down quietly. He didn't know how he was ever going to sleep now that his heart was so crushed by everything Alistair had to say. Was there nothing good at all, about being a Grey Warden? Some of this might explain the arrogance people often brought up about those mighty, fierce, Wardens who walked around as if they were entitled to every gratuity there was to be offered. Considering what she has given up for her people, he won't find any reason not to indulge her whenever he felt like it. No guilt at all.


End file.
